It is often a heart-breaking moment to see your spouse at sea and you have to manage the family. He is prepared to serve his duty for months on end. And you will be alone all that time. It is a proud moment for the entire family. But deep within your heart, it aches. It directly translates to tears and you feel lost. This is true for all spouses (including wives and husbands) whose better half is away at sea. The feeling of pain is the same no matter the gender.
It is a difficult time to live alone for several months. Most of them are spent waiting and praying for the safety of your spouse. This becomes a daily routine. People tend to forget about themselves and about their family. This is a vicious circle where your entire time goes in a depressed mood and you don’t feel like doing anything.
Some of the common problems faced by spouses are as below:
- Loneliness: Spouses find themselves lonely by the constant offshore duty of the husband/wife.
- Parenting: Always thinking of the spouse makes parenting a difficult job as they cannot concentrate on their kids and cater to their needs.
- Being Introvert: Loneliness tends to make people introverts. They keep to themselves and stay indoors. They don’t talk to people and are constantly engulfed with pessimistic thoughts.
Here is some good piece of advice for such spouses who wait for their loved ones on duty at the sea:
Optimism is of prime importance. Without optimism, you will not be able to spend much time alone or even carry out your daily activities. You have a family to take care of and a house to manage and more importantly you have to take care of yourself. You don’t want to get all engulfed in all the negative thoughts.
Being optimistic will help to make your day more meaningful and stress-free.
Take matters into your own hand
Usually, when the man of the house goes out on duty, the wives don’t wear the man’s hat and carry out the daily work like the shopping, paying the bills, taking kids for a dine-out. They make lives miserable for themselves and their family.
Such people need to take matters into their own hands and do all the things the husband used to do. This will give them confidence and will help the time go by quickly.
Spouses at home continuously think of their husbands/wives but forget to take care of themselves. They don’t exercise, don’t eat healthy food, constantly think of spouse and stress their minds. This harms their health and may lead to depression.
So the advice is to indulge in some exercise, meditation, and morning jog, eat healthy food and make sure you and your family stays healthy.
Keep yourself Busy
Most people don’t do much throughout the day. They don’t read books, watch TV, go out for movies, skip functions and events, visit relatives or friends. In short, they have the entire day to remorse. A day so empty will only make you feel depressed.
Instead get involved in activities which will pass your time happily. Join dance classes, cooking classes, or follow your long desired hobbies and make sure you keep yourself busy. Keep yourself so busy that you should not have enough time to think about unwanted stuff.
This is one thing which people overlook. Socializing is a very relaxing thing. It will help you share your thoughts. A sharing of views, thoughts, knowledge and some gossip is good for health. It will eliminate the fear of being lonely.
Socialize and make sure you talk to the right people as they too will have an influence on your behavior.
Remember the Good times
It’s always great to pull out your old photo album and check out the pictures. It will surely bring a smile if not laugh on your face. You will remember many of the past moments which you cherish and make you feel lively.
Remembering the good times is one of the best ways to metaphorically feel alive again.
Almost all the advice mentioned above is for both the husband and wives of seafarers and is helpful for both the genders. Being lonely and staying indoors and not talking about the pain you feel will not help anybody. You will have to be as social and as active when you are with your spouse to live a happy and a satisfied life.